


the kids will never be alright

by michelle_does



Category: Romeo & Juliet - Takarazuka Revue, Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michelle_does/pseuds/michelle_does
Summary: romeo and juliet au where everything was different from the Big Fight forwardCW: Death, Suicidal References/Implications, Depression
Relationships: Juliet Capulet/Romeo Montague
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	the kids will never be alright

“Come on, _please_.” 

The stained tips of the boots in Romeo’s hands wouldn’t budge. It had been two weeks since the fight and he was once again trying his hardest to clean them. But no matter how deeply he scrubbed, the blood of his best friend wouldn’t leave the leather it had made its home on.

He stood over the dimly lit wash bin surrounded by dirty pieces of cloth. The water had run cold but he felt as if he were getting somewhere this time. Maybe tonight he’d finally clean them.

_*Tap, tap, tap*_

Romeo didn’t look up from the boots or acknowledge the new presence in his room. Most nights had turned into this routine of scrubbing, focusing, and silence. He lifted one of the boots to the light, checking for a sign of progress that wasn’t there. Looking up at the light he could see a woman in his peripheral. The love of his life, the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She was checking on him again, like she usually did. This wasn’t what she signed up for, but he couldn’t consider that at this point.

“Romeo,” she sighed softly and walked toward him, “you need to eat.” He stopped looking at the boots for a moment, considering the time. How long had it been at this point? He returned to the boots, he needed to get this done.

“Romeo,” Juliet was more firm now, “stop it.” It was the same back and forth every night. She begged him to eat, to talk, to do anything at all. He knew she deserved better. But he just needed to get these boots cleaned. Then he could talk to her again.

“Fine,” she sounded… different from before, “I’m not asking you anymore.” In an instant she’d grabbed the boots from in front of his eyes and slipped out the door. Where she was headed with them he wasn’t sure. He tried to follow her but almost as soon as she had left she was back again.

“Wh-what did you do with them?” he asked worriedly. They were face-to-face, closer than they’d been in weeks. He could see just past the top of her head but there were no boots to be seen nearby.

“They’re gone.”

“Gone?!” he felt as if he’d been splashed with ice-cold water.

“You don’t need them anymore, Romeo, they’re hurting you.”

“I- you-” he tried to think of a response. Why would she do this? And how did she do it? She was only gone for a moment they surely had to be somewhere.

“I burned them, they’re in the fireplace,” she responded to his silent questioning “I know you’re upset with me. But you needed them to be gone.”

“The fireplace?!” he tried to push past her, but she blocked the door frame firmly. He placed his hands on her shoulders and tried harder, pushing her to the side but still she wouldn’t move. When did she get so strong? Why couldn’t he get through? With one last push he fell to the ground, his arms crumpling around Juliet’s legs. For the first time in what felt like a thousand years Romeo let out a tear. But once he began to cry he couldn’t stop, quickly he could feel his body heave into sobs. His chest ached from the pain and relief of each passing moment.

“I know,” Juliet said quietly and with care. She had moved to the ground as well, wrapping her arms around him as he cried. Romeo wasn’t sure if she was crying too, but he could feel the compassion from her embrace. His tears dried and then began again, it was as if a pressure had been lifted as the two sat together.

“I’m sorry,” he said it weakly, but Romeo felt it with his heart as sat in Juliet’s arms. He could feel her nodding to accept the apology as she continued to hold him. She was perfect, the woman he loved. He’d put her through so much more than she ever deserved. But she followed him here, after everything that happened. And she put up with it all, he was so grateful for her in this moment.

“Let’s get you something to eat,” Juliet said a bit more brightly, pulling him up with her as she stood. Standing here, even in the dim light, he could see the brightness of her cheeks. And her eyes were still brighter than any lamp, two of the fairest, twinkling stars. Despite everything that had happened he could feel some comfort in being here with her. There was so much he had lost, that they both had lost, but they had each other. And that was going to be enough. From now on this was going to be all that they needed.

~~~~~~~

“Okay do you have everything you need?” Romeo asked as he looked over his person and bags. He felt sure he was packed properly for the next leg of the journey. Standing in front of their temporary home he looked to the horizon, the weather seemed to be nice enough. For the first time in a while he felt some hope for their future again.

“I think so,” Juliet called from inside the house, “just grabbing my last couple things!” She walked out with her own bag and a cheery smile on her face. Romeo closed up the house behind them and they were set for their travels.

“To Venice!” Juliet said as they started down the road.

“Well, not so fast,” he laughed, “or so loud.” The two had stayed up for weeks planning where they’d go. Their families were convinced they’d both died thanks to the help of the few people they could trust. Now all they had to do was get far enough away to be untraceable.

Venice was peaceful, neither of them knew people there. At the pace they were going to they could make it over halfway in a day and there in three if they rested. But It was surely far enough away to be a good choice. It had to be…

~~~~~~~

Sunlight filled the otherwise empty room of the inn. Romeo’s eyes felt heavy and his limbs exhausted from the day of traveling before. But they’d made it to Padua, they could even afford to rest for two days here if they wanted. He looked at Juliet sleeping beside him and took in the moment of peace.

“Good morning,” she said as she yawned and looked back at him. He wasn’t sure how she seemed so energetic after all the traveling they’d done. She reached out and brushed the hair from his face. If he could, Romeo would have stayed in this moment forever.

Last night, after they reached the inn, Juliet had surprised him by returning the boots. The ones he’d been working so hard to scrub in his spiraling nights nearly a month ago. But she’d been able to get out nearly all of the stains. He was shocked to see the boots in almost perfect condition. 

“I think you should have them again”, she’d said, “I couldn’t get them perfectly clean. But, I want you to have them - to have anything you can… from him.”

Romeo might never get his best friend back, he might never be able to get rid of those horrible memories, but he had _something_ again. He sat up and looked at the boots sitting on the ground now, their small bloodstain a reminder of what he could never truly run away from. He grabbed them and held them to the sunlight, their dyed blue leather and black trimming seemed so ridiculous to him before. But these boots were his now and he’d take them on his journey, wearing them further in life than their previous owner could.

He walked to the window to clear his mind. Things were getting better, his future with Juliet was looking so much brighter. This wasn’t the time to start thinking of the past. The town square was just outside this building, it was fairly sparse at the moment and filled with unremarkable people. It was so different from Verona. There was still a chance they’d be spotted here, but Padua was a city where it was likely nobody would know them… for once.

“Let me _go_ ,” Romeo felt a chill go through his body. His eyes searched the town square for the source of the shouting. Two large men were dragging a smaller, scrappier looking young man into the square. Romeo’s legs went weak.

“What happened?” Juliet asked, confused.

“It’s M-” Romeo couldn’t bring himself to say it, the name stopped in his throat. He threw on the boots and stashed a pocket-sized blade.

“Where are you going?” Juliet’s voice was rising in fear, “You can’t just leave, you need to explain yourself.” She ran to the door and stood in front of it. Without speaking, Romeo moved her gently to the side and left, nearly running out of the building.

“You can’t do this to me!” Romeo could hear the shrieks coming from the square. He needed to stay hidden but he needed to get himself to Mercutio. As he quickly approached the growing crowd he heard a set of familiar footsteps behind him.

“You’re not going in there alone,” Juliet whispered to him, “we’re in this together.” She clasped his hand in hers and followed close behind. 

The two pushed their way through the crowd so that Romeo could see the sight in the center of the square, but he almost immediately regretted this. There was Mercutio, his hair hastily dyed black but his eyes unmistakably Mercutio. He was seated on the ground in terror as two guards stood above him, their weapons drawn. A third guard, perhaps some sort of captain, was speaking to him now.

“Mercutio of Verona,” he began, “you have cowardly fled to Padua after committing murder in your own city.” Mercutio stared at the man in what Romeo could only assume was a lethal mix of rage and terror.

“I’m telling you I’m not Mercutio,” he said heatedly from the ground, “I have never heard that name before. I am just traveling through the city and you have rudely stopped me on my vacation.”

“Is that so?” the guard captain replied, “Then why were you seen with this on your person? Go ahead, read the inner cover.” He tossed something on the ground but Romeo only needed to see a glimpse to know. It was a book of poems Benvolio had carried with him. The only person who would have that would be Mercutio.

“It says that this book is property of,” Mercutio’s voice began to shake, “B-Benvolio.” He spoke his name in a hollow whisper. It was as if every ounce of life inside Mercutio, the fiery friend Romeo knew so well, was gone. He wasn’t entirely convinced this _wasn’t_ a different person, if not for the fact that he had one of Benvolio’s prized possessions. 

A heavy silence filled the air. Mercutio stared at the guard captain defiantly. Romeo could see the tears fill the corner of his eyes but he knew Mercutio, he wouldn’t break. Instead, Romeo and Mercutio locked eyes and the world froze. Neither had expected to see each other ever again and least of all here. But here they were, once again breathing the same tensed air of a city square.

“I didn’t kill him,” Mercutio said it in nearly a whisper but Romeo could feel every word run down his spine. “There was an accident, nobody knows what happened.” Each word felt like an icy needle into Romeo’s heart.

“A boy is dead,” the guard captain replied curtly, “I don’t care how it happened. I’ve been told you’re responsible and unless anyone can prove otherwise, your death has been ordered.” Mercutio eyes found Romeo’s again and didn’t move. Silently, he begged Romeo to say something. But what could he do without risking his own life… without risking Juliet’s life. He felt Juliet’s hand tighten on his wrist. A constant reminder of what his life could be, what it _should_ be. If he said a word everything would be given up, their hard work would be for nothing. The world around Romeo felt dizzying, nothing he could do felt right. 

“Let’s go,” Romeo broke his gaze, turning to Juliet. He’d already watched one of his best friends die, he didn’t need to see it happen to another one. They made their way through the crowd, trying to leave before more chaos could erupt.

“He was like a brother to me,” Mercutio’s voice was wavering, “he was my best friend. He meant everything to me and I looked up to him. Not a day has gone by that I don’t think of my best friend who killed that boy. You don’t want me, but you’re not going to listen.” He sounded exhausted, like he’d been running from this for weeks. “So take me away from here.” 

Romeo and Juliet had made it back to the inn when the guards killed Mercutio. It was muffled by the chaos and the crowd but Romeo could hear the cry of pain as they struck him. The sound was not unlike the last sound he’d heard from Benvolio. When they reached their room Romeo peered out the window once more but couldn’t see anything past the sea of bodies that filled the square. As he lay awake that night he was haunted by the memories of his dead best friends. He contemplated what Mercutio’s last words might have been as he finally gave into exhaustion and slept.

~~~~~~~

Romeo was slipping into his old self already. Juliet could feel the air of dread he brought with him everywhere. After the tragedy in the Padua she didn’t blame him for having some sort of reaction. But he was going downhill fast. It was Juliet who got them on the road to Venice again, Juliet who fed them, and Juliet who watched him until he fell asleep at night.

She was chastising herself for giving him the boots back. But she knew this wasn’t her fault or the fault of the boots. Maybe now that they were in Venice things would be better. The trek had taken them just as long as their previous journey, Romeo was tiring a lot quicker than before. And he kept stopping to ask her things. Despite all the bumps in the road they were here, on the water in Venice.

“I’m going to rest for a bit,” Romeo said, already getting into bed as Juliet set her things down inside their room at the inn. He was physically here but his voice was a hundred miles away. Although he seemed to be doing poorly, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Juliet felt safe enough leaving him for a moment while she found them something to eat nearby. She headed down toward the entrance of the inn to take a look at the surrounding shops.

“Miss, excuse me,” it was the woman that had checked them into their room, “I’m so sorry but there’s a piece of mail for you.”

“For me?” Juliet hadn’t given her a name and they hadn’t been there for longer than a half hour. 

“Yes, a man dropped this off just after you entered the building.” The woman handed over a small envelope. Juliet turned it over and almost dropped it upon seeing the red “C” wax seal on the back. She ran outside and ripped open the letter.

Juliet,

This isn’t cute anymore. You need to come home and continue on as planned. If you return to us we can forget everything that happened. You’re living with a criminal, a murderer. I know he’s feeding you lies. Tybalt saw everything, he’s told me.

It was Romeo. He knows it, he’s a killer. And he let his other best friend die too.

Come back home where you’re safe.

The ink of the letter began to run as Juliet stared at it, she didn’t realize she’d been crying. She wasn’t sure if it was out of anger, exhaustion, or sadness at this point. But as she stood there, the winds of Venice breezing by her hair and the letter, the gravity of the world felt heavier than ever before. Here she was supposed to be free from everything but instead she was running again. She was so tired of running.

With a deep breath she composed herself. She couldn’t be afraid around Romeo, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He also couldn’t see this letter, no matter what. Re-entering the inn she quickly burned it by a candle, holding onto the envelope. She had a plan.

“Benvolio?” Romeo sat up as soon as she entered the room. He looked like he had been in a deep sleep but as if he hadn’t slept in months at the same time. This was something he was doing far too often, asking for Benvolio at every turn.

“Just me,” she half-smiled as she walked into the room, “and this.” She sat on the bed and showed him the envelope. He looked terrified at the sight of the bright red seal on the back. 

“They know we’re here,” she continued, “there wasn’t much more than that and a threat. But the wind blew away the letter.” She began fixing her windswept hair to help sell her story.

“What do we do,” Romeo asked seemingly nobody, “it feels like we’ve come as far as we can.” His gaze kept moving between both Juliet and just past her. She worried he couldn’t bring himself to accept their fate here.

“I have a plan,” Juliet tried to cheer him up, “there’s lots of sailors down at the docks. I think we could pay one of them to sail us to Trieste. That should be plenty far from here as long as we don’t get spotted.” She looked at him hopefully, looking for some sort of spark behind his eyes. Something to tell her that he was still there and listening.

“Yeah…” he began, “Trieste… we could go there. Yeah.” It wasn’t the cheery Romeo she once knew. But he would come back, this was better than he had been at least. She wrapped him in her arms, not wanting to lose him.

“I will never leave your side,” he said it certainly, “I will always choose you.” She looked at him and saw the tears beginning to fall from his eyes. He had been through so much and despite it all she loved him. They had sworn to love each other and kept this promise, she knew she would never break it.

~~~~~~~

“Please, we promise we’ll be quiet and pay you up front and after,” Juliet was begging maybe the tenth sailor of the day to take them to Trieste. She stared back at the tall, burly man in front of her with her best pleading eyes she could muster.

“Fine, but I’m charging you before we leave and when we get there,” he replied, “and you better not bring any trouble with you. I heard you’ve been asking everyone to take you. I don’t want to know why just, don’t bring it to my boat.”

Juliet expressed her thanks and handed over the money. They had a way out, a way to get to Trieste. But they had to leave the next morning so they still needed to lay low for the day. Romeo followed her back away from the docks as they approached a cafe.

“We did it!” she nearly shouted before remembering their need to stay quiet. She hugged him and felt a relief knowing they’d truly be out, free, in just a few hours. Pulling away she looked at Romeo, he was pale and looked terrified.

“Ben...Benvolio,” he was staring at a man in front of a nearby shop. He did look very similar in stature but they had different eyes and dressed differently. Juliet was confused at this sudden misidentification by Romeo, was he truly this haunted by his friend?

“No,” she moved his face to touch hers, “And you don’t need to worry about that right now. We are going to be free soon!”

“No, that Ben-” he had moved his face again, “that man that looks like Benvolio. He’s been staring at us this entire time.” Juliet turned her eyes to look at him and, sure enough, he was looking directly at them. In that same moment he began to walk toward them, she wasn’t sure who he was or what his intentions were but she didn’t want to find out.

“Let’s go,” she said quickly, grabbing Romeo’s hand. The two started walking down the road back toward their inn. Juliet’s plan was to shake off this strange man, they just needed to stay safe for a couple of hours. Just a few more hours and they’d be free.

Turning a corner down one of the side streets Juliet nearly ran into another strange-looking man. No, this wasn’t happening. Not here, they just needed to stay safe for a few more hours. Just a few more hours…

She gripped Romeo’s hand tighter and ran for a less maintained road. She wasn’t sure what the plan was now but she thought maybe hiding in this hill behind the city. Despite their exhaustion from traveling the day before, both Romeo and Juliet made it up the hill in lightning speed. From the top they could oversee some of the streets while still hiding.

“I think we threw them off for now,” Juliet said while catching her breath, “but I’m not sure for how long.”

“Let’s move away from the streetside,” Romeo motioned for her to follow him, “we can just hide and look at the water from here.”

This side of the hill was a cliff with a rocky inlet beneath. It looked scary at first but the sound of the waves was comforting, it quieted the rest of the world. The two sat together, on guard but resting in the temporary peace of the moment.

“Where do we go,” Romeo asked the waves. He looked more lost than he had in all the time since Benvolio had died.

“To Trieste,” Juliet replied quickly, “we just have to stay here and then tomorrow we go to Trieste.” She said it with all the hope she had in her heart.

“If you could go back and not meet me, would you?” Romeo asked with a fear behind his eyes. He was gripping the dirt beside him, preparing for her answer.

“Never,” Juliet replied, “My love for you has grown so big that I cannot even count up to half of it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” She meant every word she said, she hoped Romeo knew that. They sat in the sound of the waves for some time, waiting for what they weren’t sure.

“I did kill him.” Romeo wasn’t looking at her, “It was an accident, I know. But it was me.” Tears hit the ground beside him. She wanted to hold him again and tell him everything was okay. But she didn’t know how to respond or if that were even the truth.

“They went up there!” The shout came from the other side of the hill.

Romeo and Juliet’s eyes met where they sat. Juliet could no longer hide her fear behind her face, there was nowhere else to run from here. If Romeo was caught, he’d be killed. If Juliet was taken home, she’d be forced to marry another man. Everything they’d done, all this running, it was for nothing. They’d done everything, tried everything, but they couldn’t outrun their past.

They quickly stood and looked around for a way to get off the hill without being seen. The only way out was the way they’d come in. As they stood they could hear the footsteps of several people approaching.

“I will never leave your side,” Romeo said firmly. He grabbed Juliet’s hands in his and looked at her with determination. She could feel that he was afraid but that he knew what was happening. The choice was hers to make. Either one of them would die or they both would. The waves below them continued their rhythm, calming even this tense moment.

“I will always choose you.” She said looking back at him. She could feel the tears in her eyes, she was terrified of what was to happen. But it was this or a life of continued misery, a life without Romeo.

They walked up to the edge of the cliff, looking over and then back to each other. They didn’t need to say anything, both of them understood what they were doing.

“Here’s to my love,” Romeo said as he pulled her in for one more kiss.

“Here’s to my love,” Juliet replied confidently.

And in the next moment, it was over. There wasn’t any running left to do.


End file.
